He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You have to summon your inner elephant
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
