I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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