if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize