i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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