are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I don't think brook has ever known best
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize