Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize