I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
