Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
