well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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