i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
