why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
