RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
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