I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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