So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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