Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
