I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
