if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
