Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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