I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
