beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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