Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize