how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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