I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
