So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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