when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
