Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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