someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
