TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
