I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
