I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
