Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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