Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
