3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
