Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
