I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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