I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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