THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
