I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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