nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
nutella sex= disaster
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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