He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize