You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
