oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
