I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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