I love black thongs
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
