I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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