So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
