What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
