Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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