Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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