The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
