like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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