I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
