My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
