what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I got inside last night via doggy door
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
