Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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