Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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