White coat. Heels.
she smelled like a LAN party
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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