And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize