Michael Bay diarrhea
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
