My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
