No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
