is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
