well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize