If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
