We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
