I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
