me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
