Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize