My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Randomize
